You know you're jealous of me

This past weekend we went to a little eclectic random shop down in the West End (in Dallas). I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to take pictures of all these little treasures. I have to warn you in advance though, many of the items pictured are making fun of Jesus or Christianity or fat people so if that makes you squirm, go ahead and close the browser window now.

*Disclaimer: I love Jesus, and Christianity, and fat people and this is just in good fun.*

You've been forewarned. Enjoy laughing your arse off...

Who wouldn't want a package of magnets that look like chewed up bubble gum? I seriously was 'this close' to buying these magnets. I LOVE crazy magnets. I might go back and buy them. I'm having not-buyers remorse. I would totally stick one on the side of my sisters car, or on my moms fridge, or on the front of hubb's new iMac. Okay, I've really got to go back and get these!

Brazilliant.

Here's hubb's personal favorite. Er, well, he at least told me to take a picture of it. I can't guarantee that it really was his favorite.

Remember when you were a kid and you had that magnetic board with a man's face on it and you could create hair and eyebrows and mustaches for him? My Mamaw had one. For all I know that thing was 40 years old. Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about. Anyhoo, this one is way more fun, and totally un-PC.

It's just so wrong.

Everyone needs a Yodelling Pickle.

Why go for the traditional mint when you can have coffee, waffle, or bacon flavored instead?

Everyone needs some real Texas Bullshit. Why do you think they're called "shit kickers" anyway?!

Disposable Bullshit bag. Seals BS in.




Directions:

1. Open Bag before opening Mouth

2. Tuck open bag beneath chin

3. Start "talking", let the BS flow

4. When full, seal back and dispose of

Warning: Do not attempt to dispose of your BS through any government agency since they produce more bullshit than they can dispose of themselves. We suggest that you send it to the major networks in return for all they send out each day.

If you don't 'get' these keys, then I'm not even going to bother to try to explain them to you. But I totally want them. Aren't they so clever?

Love it

Tchotch Keys. Dying. My favorite.

Total awesomeness:



"Sink one in your drink" Who comes up with this stuff? They are genius.

Let's talk about Action Figures, shall we?

OMG, the Avenging Unicorn



Lil' Tubby with all his treats. So wrong.

I've always wanted a set of Horrified B-Movie Victims

and a set of Angry Mob action figures

And while we're talking about Action Figures, let's just roll this directly into all our Jesus Merchandise:

Miracle Jesus? Glow in the dark hands?! Turn water into wine?!! Feeds 500 with 5 loaves and 2 fish?!!! Why do I find this so comical?

Everyone needs their own Holy Water.

Seriously, I'm dying here

Jesus Shaves. Brilliant.

Everyone EVERYONE likes chocolate

Too bad it's blurry... Grow Mother Mary (???) Hilarious. And so random.

I'd like eggs with that thankyouverymuch

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I still can't believe we took our kids in there. I'm sure they are scarred for life. Probably not. They were so preoccupied eating their Blue Bell ice cream that I don't think they even noticed all these terrible little evil amazing toys.

Lindsey (my sister who is even more evil than me bawahahahahahaha), don't be too jealous. I'll take you here next time you're in town. ;)

Ah, very nice

Today at Costco I bought a pair of Buffalo Jeans (http://www.buffalojeans.com/).

Yes, I bought jeans at Costco. I am officially a Suburban, mini-van driving, Costco shopping Soccer Mom.

Now that we are past that... I bought some Buffalo Jeans today at Coscto.

I usually only buy Old Navy Jeans. Not sure why considering I loathe Old Navy jeans. They look awful on me. They never fit right. And they aren't any cheaper than any other lower-priced name-brand jeans. I'm basically in an Old Navy rut.

So anyway, I saw these Buffalo Jeans at Costco and they were about $30. I figured, what the heck, they can't be worse than Old Navy ones. Only problem is Costco doesn't have a dressing room to try on clothes so you have to purchase them and then try them on at home, and also Buffalo Jeans came in weird sizes (27-32). I guessed what size I think I am and bought the pants.



This isn't the pair I bought. It's just an image I found online.

These pants are like velvet. Seriously. And guess what? They fit! I haven't worn them for a full day yet to really try them out, but I've got them on now and I haven't been more comfortable in pants in years. I am loving these Buffalo Jeans. Thanks Costco.

Kinsey's room so far

BEFORE:

I bought some light pink paint, a Roxy Quicksilver bedding set, new (to me) furniture off Craigslist, and added a few little decorations. It's a work in progress, but so far I'm diggin' it.

AFTER:

So, um ya, I hate doors. After I took this picture, I said sayonora to her closet door which really helped utilize the space to the right of the window.

New House

A year ago we bought a house in DFW. I lurve my house. I love the layout. Only problem is that IMO it needs a lot of work. A Lot. So, here are some pictures of our house the day we bought it before we put any work into it. I'll post some before and after's in a bit.

Entry:

Formal Living Room (aka Piano Room):

Another view of the Piano Room:

Dining Room (aka Office):

Super uuuuugggggggggglllllllllyyyyy kitchen

Hey, I can say that because it's my house and I've already re-done most of it! ;)

Another super ugly kitchen angle

Breakfast area off the kitchen

Family Room

Don't tell me you like the paneling. Trust me, you don't. For some godforsaken reason, you may think you like it. Some people have said they like it. But I already tore it down. It's G-O-N-E. And it looks ah-mazing!

View from breakfast nook into Family Room

Travis's room

You can't tell as well from this photo, but those walls are peach, baby! yuck!

Kinsey's room

2nd bathroom

I so wish you could feel these walls. They are like sandpaper. I could scratch my back on these walls. Or shave my legs. Or if I try to grab toilet paper too quickly I'll draw blood on my knuckles. No joke, yo.

Another 2nd bath shot

Master bedroom

Biggest master bedroom I've ever seen. Too bad we don't own ANY furniture. Well, we do own a bed and a frame.

And here is my FAVORITE room in the entire house. Are you ready for it? Can you even stand the anticipation? Wait for it...! Wait for it...! Okay, here ya go.

Master bathroom. The most beautiful masterpiece ever created.

Who wouldn't want this shower head?

Ahhh, here it is! Outdoor slate tile and all! Sandpaper walls? Check. Too small vanity sinks created for a 1/2 bath? Check. Horrible floors? Check. Multi-colored walls? Check. You get the idea...

And the back yard

It's actually a decent size, I just couldn't get all of it in the camera lens

Check back for updates!