Warts

About 3 months ago I had to take Travis to the dermatologist to get a wart removed from his finger. After the dermatologist was finished freezing his wart off, she looks up at me and says in the sweetest voice,

"You know, you don't have to live with acne like that. There are things we can do to help you get rid of it."

Um, ::blushing:: (Was it really THAT bad?... yes.)

So I made an appointment and came to see her and she gave me this awesome prescription cream I'm suppose to use twice a day after I wash my face.

Well, the stuff works great if I actually use it twice a day, but I slack so I've still got a zit here or there.

But now that summer is here and I've been swimming AND using the zit cream, the chlorine has done wonders for my skin! My face is acne free (not a single tiny pimple or scab anywhere). Now if only I can get rid of the splotches...

So anyway, today Kinsey had to go to a dermatologist (a new one because we aren't in LA anymore so I had to get her one in Austin) to get 4 warts taken off her palm (what is up with all these warts in my family lately?).

The dermatologist never made a single comment to me about my ugly face or my acne. I'm taking that as a good sign.

Let's hope the kids don't need to see a nutritionist for any reason or I'm in huge trouble. "Um, mam, you know you don't HAVE to live with all that fat around your stomach..."

Mmmmm Kaaaaaaaaay Whatevs

I took the kids to the park today. So I'm sitting there watching the kids reading my Google Reader on my iPhone when this lady comes over and starts chatting with me totally interrupts my craft blog reading (how wooode!).

So she says something to the effect of,

"Your ora is really bright. You've got a really great ora about you."

"Um, okay thanks." {fake smile} But what I'm really thinking is "A) why is this weird woman telling me this, and B) can't she see I'm busy reading blogs?!?!"

I try to look back down at my phone and brush her off, but then she starts again...

"You've got a really bright future. I can see a bright future for you. You have such a positive energy and ora."

So I look up again and smile and say, "Uh, okay. Er, thanks."

And she's all, "You've had a really horrible year this past year. You've had so many obstacles in your way, but it's okay now! Your future is very bright with lots of great things to come."

So now I'm backing away slowly trying to just get away from her so I can go back to watching the kids so they don't get kidnapped reading my phone AND she follows me. AND she won't stop talking about my ora! My great positive happy ora that I've got flowing all around me!

So now she's blabbing on that she's a Physic and do I want to have my fortune or palm read. BINGO. I knew she had a point to her blabbing and stalking.

"Uh, no thanks."

"But your future is so bright!"

"How much do you charge for a reading?"

"Only ten dollars! Don't you want to know how bright your future is?"

At this point I'm thinking there's no way I'm paying a single penny because this lady obviously has no clue how to do her job. I've had a great year this past year. And yes, this next year looks bright too so I guess she got that part right. But saying I've had a horrible year with lots of obstacles? When she said that I new she was a fake.

So I guess it was kinda rude in hindsight but I told her, "TEN DOLLARS?! I'm really not interested in paying ten dollars to have my positive ora told to me. Thanks though."

And I walked away. Beaming with all my positive mojo and energy. Weird-o.

Well hello my friends... muwahahaha

If you are vising from my link I posted at HoH...

STALKER! My gosh!

;)

Kidding of course. Thanks for stopping by. I don't update this very often, but now that I've given out my link I guess I'll try to be humorous more frequently over here as well.

I really should convert this to a wordpress if I'm going to update it more frequently. Because you know I just have ample time to write ANOTHER blog.

I've got the ITCH

I thought I'd be so happy once I moved out of my house in Dallas and into our apartment in Beverly Hills. Happy that finally I'd get a break from all the renovations. All the painting. All the caulking, and tiling, and caulking, and sanding. I worked on my home in Dallas for a year straight with hardly any breaks. My poor kids were parentless after school each day as I left them to their own devices while I painted, or caulked, or stapled, or sanded yet another project. I couldn't wait to just have a break. And I couldn't have a break at my house because I am so OCD and if I know there was a project to do I just can't sit still until it's done. For example, if I were still at my house, my kitchen cabinets would probably already be painted white. Or a new mantle would already be hung. Or I'd have sewed some window treatments by now. Or what I really wanted to do was paint my front door black.

Anyway, I've been out of my home and here in Beverly Hills for 2 months now and the itch to create or renovate something, anything, is almost more than I can stand! It doesn't help that I subscribe to at least 50 thrifty, home decor, renovate, do it yourself blogs that I read daily. Man I want to go to goodwill so badly and find some awesome piece of furniture for $20 and paint it. I have dreams of turning a horribly ugly buffet into something amazing or finding a gaudy gold mirror and making it beautiful.

But I can't because in 4 months from now we will be loading up a little U-haul trailer and driving back to Texas, and I can't really fit a huge buffet into a small U-haul can I? Also, I can't really refinish a dresser inside my apartment, and my porch is not big enough, and I have no garage, etc.

So I'm trying to curb the itch with other projects. I've made a few things with my kids lately which I'll post later and I've also been shopping at Ross, Marshall's, Goodwill, and Target for sales. I've found some great decorating things at Target recently for mega cheap. If you really dig at Target you can find all sorts of cool stuff for super cheap.

I'll do a post with all my finds once I put the pictures on my computer. For now I just wanted to share how much I REALLY WANT TO REFINISH SOMETHING. I miss my house.

You on the Beach?

If you know me well you'll know that I'm a fan of South Beach Diet. (Now if only I would actually stick to SBD faithfully I might actually lose a few pounds!) Hubb's calls my diet the Allison Beach Diet b/c I've changed so many rules regarding the diet that it looks like a distant relative of the original. haha

Anyway, I have a few recipes that I made up myself that follow the real South Beach Diet (Phase 1) that I thought I'd share. Most sound gross, but if you take the time to actually make it I'm sure you will love it. My kids beg me to make these meals/snacks for them. They call for mozzarella cheese, either grated or string cheese form. Mozzarella is a great type of cheese to use on SBD because it isn't too oily like cheddar and when you cook it it takes on a solid crunchy or crispy form.

Grilled String Cheese
-string cheese (not a Light one though - those don't work and are gross!)
-small saute pan
-cooking spray

Preheat the small saute pan on medium-low. Coat pan with cooking spray. Place string cheese in pan and let it cook on one side until the cheese is melted and grilled on one side (light brown). Flip cheese over and cook the other side. Enjoy!

Breadless Pepperoni Pizza/Calzone
-part-skim shredded mozzarella (maybe 1/2 C or so)
-Turkey pepperoni
-pizza or spaghetti sauce
-small saute pan

Preheat the small saute pan on medium-low. Place Turkey pepperoni over saute pan in a single layer. Add cheese all over the top of the pepperoni. Let the pepperoni and cheese grill for about 5 minutes or until the mozzarella is all totally melted and starting to get crispy around the edges. The cheese will now be cooked enough that you can flip the pepperoni/mozzarella mixture like a pancake. Flip it so that the mozzarella side is down. Cook for another 3-5 minutes or until the cheese is light brown and kinda crispy. Remove from pan and put on a plate pepperoni side up. Add a thin layer of pizza sauce on the top of it and then fold it in half like a taco. Enjoy!

Cooking the mozzarella makes it firm enough to be able to pick up and eat like a calzone. If you under-cooked it just use a knife and fork to eat it.

Caprice salad
-Mozzarella
-Medium tomato
-salt and pepper
-olive oil
-basil, fresh or dried
Get fresh mozzarella. Not the part-skim stuff. Buy a really good block. I buy mine in a 2 pack at Costco. Yummmm! Slice about 6 thin slices. They should be roundish. Slice the tomato into about 6 slices. On a plate place one slice of mozzarella near the edge. Then overlap it about half way with a tomato slice. Then overlap the tomato with another slice of mozzarella. Work your way around the plate alternating tomato and mozzarella. It should look like a circle or wreath around the plate. Drizzle a very small amount of olive oil over tomato and mozzarella. Sprinkle with a light sprinkle of salt and pepper. Cover with a thin layer or sprinkling of basil. Enjoy!

Cheesy Bean Taco meat
-1 lb ground beef
-1 can refried beans (TRY REALLY HARD to find Old El Paso brand. Even better, get the vegetarian Old El Paso. It is the best. All refried beans are not created equal and the type of beans you use will either make or break this recipe!)
-1 small can Tomato Sauce
-shredded cheddar cheese
Cook ground been in a skillet. When it's cooked add the can of refried beans and the can of tomato sauce. Mix well and cook until hot. Spoon a serving of mixture into a bowl and sprinkle with cheddar cheese. If needed, microwave until cheese is bubbly. Enjoy with a spoon, or add to a wheat tortilla for Phase 2 of SBD.

I've got more, but I'll post them later. Enjoy these really easy recipes. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. My kids even beg for them (except the Caprice Salad).

Sate of Shock

Lindsey's ex-husband Joey apparently committed suicide last night.

My sister divorced Joey in April of this year b/c he was really mentally unstable. When he was stable he was such a great amazing fun person with a wicked sense of humor.

His depression and mental illness got the best of him last night and he committed suicide. We are all taking it hard, especially my sister. She loved him so much and was devastated that she eventually had to divorce him and get him committed to a mental institution. She never has stopped caring about him and this whole ordeal has been just awful for her.

We are all in shock and are still trying to compute the reality of this. His family hasn't given any additional details yet.



Joey and T-ster with Spiderman in New York last year.

You know you're jealous of me

This past weekend we went to a little eclectic random shop down in the West End (in Dallas). I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to take pictures of all these little treasures. I have to warn you in advance though, many of the items pictured are making fun of Jesus or Christianity or fat people so if that makes you squirm, go ahead and close the browser window now.

*Disclaimer: I love Jesus, and Christianity, and fat people and this is just in good fun.*

You've been forewarned. Enjoy laughing your arse off...

Who wouldn't want a package of magnets that look like chewed up bubble gum? I seriously was 'this close' to buying these magnets. I LOVE crazy magnets. I might go back and buy them. I'm having not-buyers remorse. I would totally stick one on the side of my sisters car, or on my moms fridge, or on the front of hubb's new iMac. Okay, I've really got to go back and get these!

Brazilliant.

Here's hubb's personal favorite. Er, well, he at least told me to take a picture of it. I can't guarantee that it really was his favorite.

Remember when you were a kid and you had that magnetic board with a man's face on it and you could create hair and eyebrows and mustaches for him? My Mamaw had one. For all I know that thing was 40 years old. Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about. Anyhoo, this one is way more fun, and totally un-PC.

It's just so wrong.

Everyone needs a Yodelling Pickle.

Why go for the traditional mint when you can have coffee, waffle, or bacon flavored instead?

Everyone needs some real Texas Bullshit. Why do you think they're called "shit kickers" anyway?!

Disposable Bullshit bag. Seals BS in.




Directions:

1. Open Bag before opening Mouth

2. Tuck open bag beneath chin

3. Start "talking", let the BS flow

4. When full, seal back and dispose of

Warning: Do not attempt to dispose of your BS through any government agency since they produce more bullshit than they can dispose of themselves. We suggest that you send it to the major networks in return for all they send out each day.

If you don't 'get' these keys, then I'm not even going to bother to try to explain them to you. But I totally want them. Aren't they so clever?

Love it

Tchotch Keys. Dying. My favorite.

Total awesomeness:



"Sink one in your drink" Who comes up with this stuff? They are genius.

Let's talk about Action Figures, shall we?

OMG, the Avenging Unicorn



Lil' Tubby with all his treats. So wrong.

I've always wanted a set of Horrified B-Movie Victims

and a set of Angry Mob action figures

And while we're talking about Action Figures, let's just roll this directly into all our Jesus Merchandise:

Miracle Jesus? Glow in the dark hands?! Turn water into wine?!! Feeds 500 with 5 loaves and 2 fish?!!! Why do I find this so comical?

Everyone needs their own Holy Water.

Seriously, I'm dying here

Jesus Shaves. Brilliant.

Everyone EVERYONE likes chocolate

Too bad it's blurry... Grow Mother Mary (???) Hilarious. And so random.

I'd like eggs with that thankyouverymuch

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I still can't believe we took our kids in there. I'm sure they are scarred for life. Probably not. They were so preoccupied eating their Blue Bell ice cream that I don't think they even noticed all these terrible little evil amazing toys.

Lindsey (my sister who is even more evil than me bawahahahahahaha), don't be too jealous. I'll take you here next time you're in town. ;)

Ah, very nice

Today at Costco I bought a pair of Buffalo Jeans (http://www.buffalojeans.com/).

Yes, I bought jeans at Costco. I am officially a Suburban, mini-van driving, Costco shopping Soccer Mom.

Now that we are past that... I bought some Buffalo Jeans today at Coscto.

I usually only buy Old Navy Jeans. Not sure why considering I loathe Old Navy jeans. They look awful on me. They never fit right. And they aren't any cheaper than any other lower-priced name-brand jeans. I'm basically in an Old Navy rut.

So anyway, I saw these Buffalo Jeans at Costco and they were about $30. I figured, what the heck, they can't be worse than Old Navy ones. Only problem is Costco doesn't have a dressing room to try on clothes so you have to purchase them and then try them on at home, and also Buffalo Jeans came in weird sizes (27-32). I guessed what size I think I am and bought the pants.



This isn't the pair I bought. It's just an image I found online.

These pants are like velvet. Seriously. And guess what? They fit! I haven't worn them for a full day yet to really try them out, but I've got them on now and I haven't been more comfortable in pants in years. I am loving these Buffalo Jeans. Thanks Costco.

Kinsey's room so far

BEFORE:

I bought some light pink paint, a Roxy Quicksilver bedding set, new (to me) furniture off Craigslist, and added a few little decorations. It's a work in progress, but so far I'm diggin' it.

AFTER:

So, um ya, I hate doors. After I took this picture, I said sayonora to her closet door which really helped utilize the space to the right of the window.

New House

A year ago we bought a house in DFW. I lurve my house. I love the layout. Only problem is that IMO it needs a lot of work. A Lot. So, here are some pictures of our house the day we bought it before we put any work into it. I'll post some before and after's in a bit.

Entry:

Formal Living Room (aka Piano Room):

Another view of the Piano Room:

Dining Room (aka Office):

Super uuuuugggggggggglllllllllyyyyy kitchen

Hey, I can say that because it's my house and I've already re-done most of it! ;)

Another super ugly kitchen angle

Breakfast area off the kitchen

Family Room

Don't tell me you like the paneling. Trust me, you don't. For some godforsaken reason, you may think you like it. Some people have said they like it. But I already tore it down. It's G-O-N-E. And it looks ah-mazing!

View from breakfast nook into Family Room

Travis's room

You can't tell as well from this photo, but those walls are peach, baby! yuck!

Kinsey's room

2nd bathroom

I so wish you could feel these walls. They are like sandpaper. I could scratch my back on these walls. Or shave my legs. Or if I try to grab toilet paper too quickly I'll draw blood on my knuckles. No joke, yo.

Another 2nd bath shot

Master bedroom

Biggest master bedroom I've ever seen. Too bad we don't own ANY furniture. Well, we do own a bed and a frame.

And here is my FAVORITE room in the entire house. Are you ready for it? Can you even stand the anticipation? Wait for it...! Wait for it...! Okay, here ya go.

Master bathroom. The most beautiful masterpiece ever created.

Who wouldn't want this shower head?

Ahhh, here it is! Outdoor slate tile and all! Sandpaper walls? Check. Too small vanity sinks created for a 1/2 bath? Check. Horrible floors? Check. Multi-colored walls? Check. You get the idea...

And the back yard

It's actually a decent size, I just couldn't get all of it in the camera lens

Check back for updates!